November 21 1815: Susan Writes to Byron, Again

On November 21 2825, Susan Boyce, an actress that Byron is having an affair with, writes to him.

My Dear Lord – I received your truly Noble present for which accept my heartfelt thanks, pray pray dont be angry at what I am going to say I am not discontented I cannot be – but {had} the note which accompanied it contained but one expression congenial to my feelings I should have valued that ten thousand times more than the gift generous as it is – I am a strange creature I hope you will one day know me as I really am it is my prayer night and morning that you may do you believe me, pray do I may feel more than I will even express but of this be assured I never will express more than I feel I am not very well I believe I have been worrying myself at not seeing you, I thought when I got into a place by myself I should have a little of your society,204 but no I have never seen {you} since, I remember you once said of women that the more loving they were the more troublesome never shall you say that of me, but that I must love you truly, sincerely, tenderly, Romantically (you may smile) I feel already if you will let me this being the case I shall naturally feel anxious about every word and action of yours “We shall probablymeet in a day or two” so says your note, well I wont conjure up misery where perhaps none will ever exist, you did not even say you were well or ill so much and earnestly as I requested you to do so, I know your situation and mine is so widely different that I can make every allowance but in the midst of every fascination dont now forget the humble Susan – I will be at 10 New Ormond Street every evening from Six till Eleven then I will go to my Sisters as I cannot bear to sleep by myself, remember any evening except Thursday next the 23 which is my dear Fredericks birth-Day he is on that day six years of age I have always devoted that day to him alone and I should be afraid to break the custom, nevertheless if you can come on that evening and no other I will with the truest pleasure see you for I would rather break thro’ <all> customs than not see {you} whether you believe me or not I wish you may be able to let me see you tomorrow night Wednesday do try send me one line to say how you are in health and whether you will come to morrow pray pray do God Almighty Bless you ever and ever

Direct your note (for I think you will oblige {me} with a line) to 38 Red Lion street Holborn to Dale’s I shall get it sooner as I shall be there all the day God Bless you

I shall be at Ormond street to night till 11 oclock
pray write Tuesday 21st

(The image above is the  “The Crown of Love” by Sir John Everett Millais painted in 1875.)

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